Thought I’d put “Google” to the test the other day to see what the amazing search engine could find under “slow play in golf”, and with approximately 3.14 million results, it seems the game’s great scourge is still a raging topic.
A strange phenomenon isn’t it, slow play – something we all complain about, but are never guilty of.
There are different levels of slow play for the professional and amateur games, the pros almost exclusively guilty of time taken over shots.
As recently as the President’s Cup, Vijay Singh dared complain bitterly about the pace of Tiger Woods’ play, and with justification, as he’s notoriously slow when he’s “in the zone”, contending for a major championship. But then Tiger, in a way, rules the game, and he who first penalises him would occupy an infamous place in history, and in Tiger’s long memory.
Just a few weeks ago, the American Ben Crane was the subject of a celebrated case on the PGA tour when, after 17 holes his South African playing partner – the hyperactive Rory Sabbatini – having had a gutsful, putted out on the 17th while Crane was still dithering down the fairway, and raced off to the 18th tee.
Crane later openly admitted to the media he was conscious of his pace of play, and was “working on it”.
Why is that pros take longer shooting 65 than hackers going round in the 90s, and when was a PGA tour player last penalised for slow play?.
But there has been some positive action taken on other tours during the course of this year.
A European tour player copped a 4-thousand pounds fine one week, 8-thousand pounds for a second offence in a subsequent tournament, and under threat of doubling up for each offence, has kept his nose clean since.
And under the strict new slow play rules introduced on the LPGA tour, three pros were fined 10-thousand US dollars earlier this year, and an amateur in the same event was penalised shots, dropping her to last place.
The pace of the amateur game is often not entirely the fault of golfers. The number of hazards, the degree of difficulty of the opening holes, intervals between tee times, and walking distances between greens and tees all have a natural influence on the time taken to complete 18 holes, apart from golfers simply wasting time.
Consciously or sub-consciously, amateur golfers mimic the pros. Isn’t it so amusing when the club hacker – especially if he’s running hot – takes his glove off and stalks his two metre putt from all points of the compass, surveying the green for break, pace and grain, and never threatens the hole anyway.
We all know the guilty parties in our club, don’t we – and I’m talking men only. You know – the richest members in the club, apoplectic at the thought of losing a ball, who exempt themselves from the 5-minute rule as they slash around in the undergrowth. They always have the group behind in their sights, while the group ahead has vanished.
Others guilty of inciting golf rage are the four who sympathetically form an ambrose-style mini-gallery for each other’s approach shots, instead of proceeding directly to their own balls.
And the guy with the honour who keeps everyone waiting while he records the scores – before he forgets. The honour system wastes so much time it should apply only in matchplay.
Let’s get serious about slow play, like the marshals who patrol the council courses of South Ayrshire in Scotland. Each of their courses is allocated a maximum time for a round in reasonable conditions. Potential offenders are shown a yellow card, and actual offenders are red-carded, ordered to leave the course immediately without a refund!
NOTE: Google’s search came up with one particularly interesting result – Bedroom Golf, which encourages slow play. But by then golf’s slow coaches, having spent so much time on the course, would be much too tired anyway. (The rules of Bedroom Golf would be out of place on a respectable website such as this, but check them out – they might ease your frustration).
Mon 21 Nov 2005 22:13 – © Garry Ahern
